To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
