remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
