My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
