i think my mom watched the whole time
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
