My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
