Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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