I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
