Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
