thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
