last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
