Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Damn victory sex feels great
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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