We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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