guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
my liver is dry heaving
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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