Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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