fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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