Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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