U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
