The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
