I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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