Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
