I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize