She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
