The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize