yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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