So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
