Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
