so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
