Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
