I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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