id be glad to
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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