I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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