just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
