what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
