There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
