I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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