Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
