EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
