I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
