Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
