I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize