And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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