I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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