I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
