my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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