Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
