I'm going to jail i love you
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
