We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
