craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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