I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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