Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
