i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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