I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
