Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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