i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
