Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
