Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
