So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
