I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
