Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
