420 ftw
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
this boner is exhausting
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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