I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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