I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My penis needs a shock collar
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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