I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
