This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
