just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
